I am not praying to die as Elijah did but I am running for solitude and rest. I have seen God do mighty things in, through and around me, but it has been a season of stress, busyness, and misplaced desires lately. I have struggled, stumbled, and have become so easily frustrated and discouraged. Genuine edification and encouragement seems to have disappeared and thoughts of failure, lack of purpose, and just an overwhelming lack of desire to further pursue ministry opportunities have taken root. So I have run. Running just to try to outrun the darkness that is chasing me. So now I rest...under the broom tree. Not in hopes of dying but in the hopes of encountering an angel of the Lord to bring me some fresh, warm bread and a cool refreshing jar of water. I need a fresh feeding to strengthen my spirit and my soul. But more importantly, I prayerfully anticipate that I will need this added strength for the journey that The Lord has planned for me. A journey that is too much for me alone. I feel alone now, in the middle of a desert wasteland, the very symbol of a wasted life. Yet I believe God will gently nourish me and lead me to a place where I can get some much needed instruction. I long to be led to a sacred place of God's self-disclosure. I want to meet Him in a new place, in a new way, for a new purpose. Like Moses in Exodus 3, Paul in Galatians 1:15-17, and Elijah here in 1 Kings 19.
Wow, dude.
ReplyDeleteI read something today that I believe is for you.
ReplyDeletePsalm 107:35-38 "He turned the desert into pools of water and the parched ground into flowing springs; there he brought the hungry to live, and they founded a city where they could settle. They sowed fields and planted vineyards that yielded a fruitful harvest; he blessed them, and their numbers greatly increased, and he did not let their herds diminish."
Praying God transforms your desert soon.